So I’m just talking with Rik on messenger and he says I have to blog this, and I’m a little afraid to do so… but yes it has to be done. Our conversation as is:
michael :Hello Rik
Just read your blog
and posted a childish comment
I quite enjoyed the half-cut blathering by the way
rikabel: thanks!
yes, it’s MEANT to sound like arse bandit, silly
michael :thought so… I like to point out the obvious see - how r u today?
rikabel :i’m okay, thanks, although i feel a little down
but that’s just seasonal, ALWAYS happens after the clocks change
how are you?
michael :depressed
rikabel :oh dear
michael :I had a very very weird day yesterday… this guy I met at Berlitz (in his 50s) suddenly got in touch and we went for a drink togther
he can drink a lot
he’s from Middlesbrough see
rikabel :right
michael :and he likes Doctor Who… so we seemed to have plenty in common… then… he says come back to my house so we do… and he shows me a video he took at Aushwitz
and then I notice something on his wall… Ken, I said, why do you have an SS uniform on your wall?
rikabel :oh
double oh
also, you HAVE To blog this
michael:It’s beautiful he said, I like it. It’s a work of art.
rikabel :they WERE snappy dressers, those Waffen SS fellows…
never mind all the jew-burning connotations
michael :then he says… would you like to see a Roxy music video? so I’m like ok, why not. Oh Bryan Ferry he says… beautiful man… over and over again…
rikabel :oh dear
but also, HA HA HA HA!
michael :then… he starts slating into the backing singers…
for being “niggers”
rikabel: right
niggers
michael :I’m like: “WHAT?”
rikabel :well, he IS from Middlesbrough
blog it!
michael :“don’t say that….” “why not? they do?” “but it’s racist” “I’m not racist mate, I love Muhammad Ali. I love Martin Luther King” “Well, alright then.” “F#cking Niggers! Nothing good ever came of that lot” “WHAT?”
“The white race is obviously superior.”
“WHAT?”
rikabel:priceless
michael :“Are you being serious” I was holding out a vain hope he was just trying to wind me up see
rikabel :more!
with his comedy SS uniform and all…
michael :“How can you think such things?”
“Is there a black Beethoven? Is there a black Schubert?”
“WHAT?”
guess what his last words of the evening were
rikabel: did you tell him they invented jazz?
erm, death to all non-white nigger jews?
michael :“Heil Hitler”
rikabel: oh jesus christ
you TOTALLY have to blog it
and expose the c#nt
wow
really though, that’s quite a day
michael:with a big smile on his face… well, I could and then maybe he’d find it and beat the crap out of me… he’s a bit of a big nutter
rikabel:will you be seeing him again
michael:he wants to be friends with me
rikabel: maybe it was just racist horseplay?
haha
michael:mailed me earlier - said he really enjoyed our day
rikabel :also, heil hitler!
michael:he’s not someone you would want to cross though
rikabel:no? big lad?
way psycho, obviously
michael:huge aryan poster boy actually yes
also his wife hates Koreans
“They all hate us and everything they say is lies! Lies!”
that was a two minute conversation after I’d just met her
rikabel :wow
what a pair of prize c#nts
michael :his wife is japanese see
rikabel :why the f#ck are they there, then?
oh
michael:he loves kyoto… I suppose I should have sensed something was amiss when he said he wanted to murder his sister
rikabel :i had a slightly similar but nowhere near as amusing/scary experience a few weeks back
michael:really?
rikabel :yeah…
i was minding my own business reading in starbucks…
michael:as you do
rikabel:this fat middle-aged geezer sat next to me
michael :ok
rikabel :kept glancing at me…i figured he was going to try to make conversation
‘okay’ i thought..
so he starts talking to me, about how he’s just back visiting from the far east, where he lives…
he’s reading the daily mail…
michael:ah
rikabel:and he says ‘wouldn’t want to move back here now…whole countries going to the dogs, innit’
gesturing at paper
michael:since the darkies started moving in?
rikabel :i’m like ‘well, don’t believe everything you read it that paper’
‘course, i work in manufacturing, tooling…’
‘i COULD move back, but i’d have to live in Birmingham…’
rikabel:uh-oh, i thought…
michael:haha
rikabel:“and that would be a problem?” i asked, not entirely innocently
michael:haha
rikabel :“well, you know, it’s full of ASIANS, innit…”
“and they all want us DEAD”
michael :he lives in Asia! how ironic!
rikabel :surely the far east is full of asians, i asked?
michael :haha
rikabel :“nah, iss those MOOSLIMS”
murderous lot
michael:hahahahaha
MOOSLIMS
brilliant
rikabel:at which point i said “i’m going now, GOODBYE”
and left
michael :haha
good one
rikabel :yeah ,thanks
you don’t get that so much in Cambridge, obviously
michael :ok I shall copy our conversation and post it - hopefully he won’t find my blog and rip my head off
rikabel :how would he find your blog?
unless he googles your name…
and hey, why would he do that?
michael :he likes me
rikabel :well, if he does google your name, you are f#cked
michael :well, and truly
rikabel :you haven’t got a sword for protection, then?
michael:no - my usual tactic is to run away
rikabel:that’s the very best tactic
michael :he was the best fighter at St. Michael’s apparently
people would come from far and wide just for a scrap
rikabel :nice
So that’s that then.
